Me, Myself and I

I haven't written for a while because I've been swamped - personally (with reading/thinking/planning for my forthcoming holidays to Ibiza and Munich as well as next year) and professionally (preparation for the imminent golf trip to Spain). It's all go at the moment, but I'm buzzing off it all rather than going into meltdown (although last weekend after a particularly heavy wine session on Friday, a messy night in Brixton and Notting Hill Carnival it was touch and go on that front). Yes, life's looking pretty peachy if I do say so myself. There's a plethora of things to look forward to in both the immediate and further away future, and I'm really starting to believe this is my time to make my mark on the world (cheesy as that sounds). One way I believe I can achieve this is by finding a publication, online or printed, that I can write for while I'm away, so I'm going to have to dedicate a fair amount of time over the next few months to find an appropriate outlet and convince them I'm a prospect worth investing in. That would at least give me some kind of framework for my writing to evolve while I'm away, and will add to my portfolio for when I get back - not that I've got any idea what I'll do when the time comes, but I'm choosing to see that as part of the excitement rather than a problem, otherwise I won't enjoy my time away half as much. Life's all about taking risks, and once you've taken a leap of faith you have to follow it through, for better or worse.

Another reason for my chirpy disposition is that I think I'm finally starting to figure a few things out on the man front. Instead of seeing every 'failed' fling in a negative light and wondering what's wrong with ME, I've realised the positive aspects ie that each and every one shows me, clearly and irrevocably, what I DON'T want in the next guy I actually choose to commit myself to. Take the latest one, for example: The Triathlete. He's actually a really nice guy, or certainly seems to be, we get on, he's gorgeous etc etc, but he's just WAY too laid back - as in, the person that inspired the expression 'so laid back he's horizontal.' At first I was offended by his crappy communication and last minute changes to dates (the 'I've got to view a car so can only see you between 6 and 7 or after 9.30' night being the absolute classic), but after seeing him last night I realise that's just the way he is. If he didn't want to see me then he wouldn't, simple as that. He just genuinely doesn't get that texting when you say you will and making a girl feel she's more important than a car are really important if you actually like said girl. Or maybe he does, and just doesn't like me enough to make the effort, but either way it doesn't matter, because the ultimate point is he's not for me, in the long haul at least. And you know what? I'm genuinely and absolutely cool with that. I'd even be more than happy to see him again if he asks, because we have fun (although his lack of chivalry last night on the paying for drinks front is cause for concern), and at this particular stage in my life, having someone to have a bit of fun with is all I want. Quite frankly, at this moment in time, I've got enough on my plate without worrying about where Mr Right is. Mr Right Now will have to do ;-)