Tits and Twitter

So Jason Manford is the latest ‘celeb’ to get caught flirting with someone (sharp intake of breath) OTHER than his wife (who, for the record, is heavily pregnant with their third child), and the tabloids are whipping themselves up into a frenzy. “One Show Jason’s Twitter Sex Shame” shouts the Sun, alongside quotes from the ‘busty 22 year old’ recipient of his ‘pervy posts,’ who says she was ‘really shocked’ by the way he pursued her (in spite of the fact she happily went along with his requests to photograph her pendulous breasts and send them to him. But anyway, I digress, let’s put the money grabbing tart to one side and get to the crux of the matter..).


Before I go any further, I should categorically state that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a bit of harmless flirting, whether a person is married or not. Humans are sexual beings, in the main, it’s in our nature to flirt; it panders to our egos and makes us feel attractive, and that, in turn, instils in us a sense of wellbeing. What I DO think is wrong is when that ‘harmless’ flirting crosses over into ‘harmful’ flirting. Admittedly, the lines are blurred, but I would take exception to a married man claiming private messages (whether by text or on social networking sites) to someone of the opposite sex alluding to sexual liaisons or making requests for nude pictures is ‘harmless’ flirting. Perhaps they would see it as rather more harmful should their partners have the misfortune of reading such messages and kicking them out onto the street. As Vernon Kay and Jason Manford are no doubt finding out, what starts as harmless fun can have far reaching repercussions on a long term partner; relationships are based on trust, and whilst sexy texts are not cheating as such, do they not erode the very meaning of being in a monogamous relationship?

I’ve said before and I’ll doubtless say again that whilst I love the way social networking brings people from all walks of life together, it is not without its pitfalls. For every wonderful, funny, warm, witty and genuine person there are ten predatory, selfish, egotistical ones, hell bent on massaging their own egos at whatever cost. There are also, sadly, many disillusioned, downtrodden, naïve and emotionally immature people, who use websites like Twitter to give them a sense of belonging that they have failed to find out in the ‘real’ world.

Predatory and naïve people aside, the vast majority of social networkers are regular people, with regular issues and regular failings. They tweet when they are bored or to get attention when they’re feeling flat, they feel a flush of excitement as they watch their follower count steadily increase, they engage in harmless banter or even serious conversation with complete strangers. None of this is wrong; far from it, interacting with others can be enormously rewarding. But what some (dare I say many?) people seem to fall victim to is the trap of virtual reality. They tell themselves it’s okay to push the conventional boundaries of morality because the internet isn’t ‘real,’ and in a sense, it isn’t; most people that you meet on Twitter, for example, will only ever be ‘virtual’ friends. But does that fact in itself make it okay to flirt with them and send them messages asking to see their boobs? What about the REAL people in your life? How would THEY feel about such interactions if they found out? Betrayed? Heartbroken? If so, you know you’ve crossed the line and what you’re doing is wrong.

Ultimately, I believe that everything in this life comes down to respect; one should always treat others with the respect they themselves would like to receive. How respectful is it to your wife or girlfriend if you’re texting some cheap slut who has made her intentions explicitly clear and asking her to get her baps out so you can have a wank over them? Not very, I would argue, and nor is it very tasteful.