Found out yesterday The Ex has now officially shacked up with Poisonous Australian Dwarf Bitch. In Holland Park, no less. How lovely for them. In truth this revelation has shaken me to the core, not least because I had always harboured the vain hope he would eventually prove himself to have at least some strength of character by seeing through her Barbie doll veneer and inane chatter and ditching her. Apparently not. But what has upset me the most is not the news of their cohabitation (less than six months after he unceremoniously cheated on and dumped me, I might add), but the revelation that he chastised his sister bitterly for having invited me to her birthday party. I know it's almost certainly guilt, rather than malice, that drove him in his reluctance to see me, but it still feels like a knife twisting in my heart every time I realise that he really has no desire whatsoever to have me in his life. To my mind it makes a mockery of our nine years together, and aside from even that it just means when we do eventually (inevitably) bump into one another it's going to be a thousand times worse than it ever needed to be. But hey ho, he's not my responsibility any more, thank God. I just wish things could have turned out differently. I didn't deserve to be treated like this.
On a more positive note, it's FRIDAY! And today is my first half day Friday (gotta love Summer office hours), so I am celebrating by treating myself to a massage, followed by a bikini wax (too much information?), rounded off with a haircut before I make my way to work drinks up in Angel. Splendid. On top of all that the sun has been shining relentlessly all week, which makes it hard to feel down for long (although today's a little less sunny than it has been - I'll get over it). Oh - and I've got a free ticket to this year's Glastonbury festival!!!!! Which excites me more than I can articulate in this blog (put it this way, Glasto 2005 was right up there in the top 5 weekends of all time, and with good reason - though I'm not at liberty to disclose any more!)
In fact, hell, there's even more reason to be happy - yesterday the doctor gave me a clean bill of health after a scare involving my hair falling out. Found a small patch near my parting last Wednesday and freaked out (the hypochondria is alive and well, it would seem), but on close inspection the doctor assured me that, whilst it is a form of stress-related alopecia (aaagh!!) the hair is already starting to re-grow, and it's apparently very common amongst women of my age. Phew. Relief is not the word, although I'm still less than pleased to have had it in the first place (plus it's going to take quite some time to re-grow).
So, what else is new in the world? Had a very nice bank holiday weekend - dinner at Volt in Victoria with two girlfriends on Friday night, followed by two nights back home with the Parents, a very necessary dose of rest and relaxation. We had a lovely picnic at Virginia Water on Sunday afternoon, though I must admit that sometimes getting out of London and opening myself up to lengthy periods of 'thinking time' has a bit of an adverse effect on me (hence my previous blog post). I get so cross with myself for ever letting Him enter my thoughts, but it's hard not to. For me, at least, erasing nine years of memories is hard to do. But do it I must....
In other news: Job=good. Great, actually (though quite stressful of late - hence hair loss???!!) Love life=not good. Date with rich 33 year old banker aside, the drought continues. Unless you count BAW - Boy At Work - which is a situation I fear will turn messy one way or another. Loathe to go into any kind of detail on here - not least because there isn't really anything to say! - but I'm not at all convinced he's interested in getting involved with a workmate (whether or not the fact it's me remains to be seen). Time - or a night on the lash tonight!!! - will tell. Oh, and you might also count the almost-certainly-gay-friend who I snogged on a night out recently, though I wouldn't bother, seeing as he's not exactly of the female persuasion!
Tomorrow I am going to the engagement party of two very good friends. This makes me happy, because I love them both dearly, but also sad, because, along with The Ex, we always used to be a foursome. Can't deny I'm pleased he's not been invited to this little soiree, or that I feel a little guilty stab of pleasure that he will also be omitted from the guest list at their wedding. Whilst I know it would be wrong to expect all our friends to turn against him because of what's happened, it's nice to know a few still have some solidarity with me. Anyway, that's more than enough talk of a certain person! It will, I'm sure, be a fantastic weekend - just hope I get through a party with 7 couples and 1 other singleton unscathed!!!
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